Need Craigslist Adult Ad Writer for Bulk Order

Hi, I am looking for a "creative" ad writer for the CE craigslist section if you have experience then thats a big plus! However before I continue let me state this clearly, I will NOT be hiring anyone who's native language is not English simply because these ads will be read by native English speakers and the moment they come across something that sounds like "the cat can haz great birthday" I will have a situation in my hands .... so I am only looking for Native English writers from Either USA, UK, Canada, AU. I will pay $0.50 per 100 word ad. Now why 50 cents per 100 word ad? OK lets look at the facts: 1. You have to do ZERO research ... ZERO, just use your imagination to make each ad unique! 2. I will order a set of 100 ads (we can talk about going steady with these orders) thats $50 per 100 ad set! 3. 0.50 x 500 words = $2.5 for every 500 words, which is what most people pay for actual readable articles (NOT $1 per 500 words as I have seen it go in this place!) I am looking for someone who can handle "volume" - lets discuss this in private. Your responsibilities: 1. You have to be reliable, that means that you should not disappear on me without letting me know first. 2. You must be able to answer e-mails within 24 hours 3. You must provide an ad replacement guarantee, this means that if an ad is detected as a duplicate of another you must replace it for a unique version because I can't do anything with duplicate content. Furthermore, each ad will be checked with software to compare the uniqueness of each ad against all others (cross comparison) Also, each ad will be cross checked for duplicate content on the Web. 4. You must be comfortable writing for adults. 5. The work must be on time. My part: 1. I will provide you examples of ads that I have written myself. You will also get all the guidelines about what words to use and what words not to use in addition to the main idea each ad should target. 2. I will pay through GAF escrow or Paypal after the set is delivered. Last but not least, I will ask for 2 (100 word ads) to be written "as a sample" to qualified writers, this is to make sure that you get the idea of what I'm trying to accomplish with each ad. I am in no hurry as I do all this work by myself but I am looking to outsource it to a qualified writer if I happen to find the right person.