Funny writing needed jobs
I'm in need of an experienced grant proposal writer who can help me secure funding for my i...their parents - The market: the target audience includes babies and their parents Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven track record in writing successful grant proposals, preferably within a similar industry (baby care, feeding, health) - Strong understanding of the existing technology landscape in baby feeding - Ability to communicate complex technological improvements in a clear and convincing manner - Experience in writing proposals that appeal to a broad audience, including potential investors, grant providers and other stakeholders I'm looking for a professional who can deliver a high-quality proposal that will help me secure the funding needed to br...
...with modifying some existing content. A total of 5 pages will need to be updated as part of this project. Key modifications include: 1. Change in Layout/Design: The intention is to revamp the aesthetic appeal. Good Wix themes need to be implemented. Creativity and aesthetic sense will be valuable in this project. 2. Update Content: Some of the existing content needs to be modified. Excellent writing and communication skills will be essential to execute this task. 3. Color Scheme Change: An elegant and minimalistic color scheme is to be introduced; any experience in color theory would be beneficial. 4. Typography Update: The typography needs to be refreshed to be in line with the fresh design outlook. 5. Page Structure: I am also interested in reorganizing the structure of the p...
I am looking for a talented designer who can create a combination logo for my newly established brand. The aesthetic should be modern and minimalist. Key project deliverables are as follows: - Creation of a combination logo (both text and icon) that encapsulates the essence of our brand. - Ensure the logo consigns with the modern and minimalist aesthetics we're aiming for. Ideal Skills: - Extensive experience in logo design, particularly in designing combination logos. - Impressive portfolio showcasing modern and minimalist designs. - Proficient in using design software to create SVG format. Remember, the final logo must be delivered in an SVG format. I am looking forward to seeing your previous work and discussing how you could bring my vision to life. Please bid accordingly...
I'm looking for a WordPress developer with expertise in the Flatsome theme, particularly version 3.x. The ideal candidate should also be skilled in using Flatsome's UX builder. The project involves creating a website based on a pre-designed template in Figma. Key Requirements: - Proficiency in Flatsome theme, specifically version 3.x - Strong understanding of Flatsome's UX builder - Experience in connecting premium plugins - Familiarity with Google APIs and integrating them into WordPress Key Tasks: - Develop a website in WordPress using the provided Figma design. - Connect the following premium plugins: Gravity Forms, Rank Math, and Google Sheets to WP (Dynamic Table). Specifically, I expect the Gravity Forms integration to: - Allow form submissions to be sent as email n...
I’m searching for an experienced SEO specialist to boost my website traffic and generate leads, focusing on IT services. I’ll need implementation and execution of both on-page optimization and technical SEO. The ideal candidate should have a proven track record in implementing such techniques and a deep understanding of the IT services sector. Please apply if you are confident in delivering tangible results in traffic increase and visibility. Your portfolio of similar projects will be highly appreciated. Website Name
This project is truly an enigma. With no clear direction provided in terms of design, features, or objectives, the developer will not only need top-notch Laravel skills, but they'll also need a high level of creativity and problem-solving abilities to decipher the exact requirements from my limited brief. I'm basically looking for an experienced Laravel developer who can take an abstract concept and turn it into a concrete application. Any experience in front-end design, database management, or API integration would be an advantage too.
We are looking for a React Developer to join our team! Develop and maintain React applications in accordance with project requirements; Collaborate with team members to design, implement, and test software solutions; Provide technical support and guidance to colleagues as needed; Take ownership of projects and ensure timely delivery of high-quality code; Contribute to code reviews and provide constructive feedback to peers; Stay up-to-date with the latest trends and technologies in React development; Actively participate in the development and maintenance of our monorepo; Communicate effectively with stakeholders to gather requirements and provide updates on project progress; Hold a bachelor's or master's degree in Computer Science or a related field; Have, at least, th...
I am seeking a resourceful virtual assistant who is not only organized and tech-savvy, but also someone who has a flair ...accordingly. - Content Creation: I need assistance in creating engaging blog posts and social media content. Bonus points for someone who is also comfortable with graphic design. The specific nature of these tasks will be discussed once a successful candidate is chosen. These tasks will require a variety of skills and experience: - Proficiency in research and data analysis. - Exceptional writing abilities. - Experience in creating engaging social media content. - Background in graphic design. - Excellent attention to detail. - Strong organization and time management skills. Whether you are an expert in all these areas or a quick learner, I'd love to...
I'm searching for a skilled CFD engineer who is proficient in using ANSYS Fluent for conducting in-depth fluid flow analysis. The primary goal of this project is to perform a detailed analysis, providing comprehensive data and insights. Key responsibilities include: - Conducting CFD simulations using ANSYS Fluent - Ensuring the simulation captures all relevant fluid dynamics phenomena - Providing a comprehensive analysis report with detailed data The ideal candidate should have: - Proven experience in CFD simulations, specifically using ANSYS Fluent - Strong understanding of fluid dynamics and related concepts - Ability to generate detailed and comprehensive analysis reports - Strong attention to detail and an analytical mindset. If you meet these requirements, please reach out wit...
Attention Freelance Presentation Designers! Are you a talented presentation designer with a knack for creating visually engaging PowerPoint decks? Are you skilled at crafting persuasive and easy-to-understand presentations for non-technical audiences? If so, I want to hear from you! I'm seeking a freelancer to modernize my existing presentation deck and create storytelling executive summary slides. Your role will be crucial in elevating the impact of my presentations and effectively communicating key messages to potential clients. Required Skills and Experience: Proficiency in creating impactful sales presentation decks. Excellent understanding of PowerPoint's capabilities and how to leverage them for maximum effect. Strong grasp of design principles and visual communication ...
its an urgent task looking for a freelancer who is good at predictive analytics and RAPID MINER. must have good report writing skills PRICE 40 USD
I'm in need of a professional who can help drive more traffic to my website through a well-crafted on-page SEO content strategy. Key Responsibilities: - Conduct keyword research and identify target keywords for my website - Update and optimize existing blog pages for better SEO performance Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in SEO content writing and optimization - Excellent knowledge of keyword research - Experience in updating and optimizing existing web content Your work will be pivotal in driving more organic traffic to my website. It's currently in an average state of on-page SEO, and I'm looking to bring it to a higher level. Your expertise in this area will be greatly valued.
We're looking to work with an experienced full-stack developer. Some requirements We're only looking for a single developer (NO AGENCIES) - Must be fluent in English - Must be available upon request - Must be flexible - Must be willing to work beyond regular working hours. - Must be able to make changes and updates fast (work with speed) - Must be able to communicate - Full-time dedication is necessary - Flutter, Laravel & AWS is vital for this role
I need a professional proficient in Word and English writing language to edit and format a contract in Word. Key Tasks: - Edit and reformat the following sections: - Introduction and scope - Payment terms and conditions - Rights and obligations - Add simple numeric numbering (1, 2, 3) to over 20 sections Experience and Skills Required: - Advanced proficiency in Word - Strong understanding of English language - Previous experience in contract editing - Attention to detail - Ability to follow specific formatting instructions.
I'm in the process of seeking approval and permits for my rectangular fiberglass swimming pool project. The technical drawings have been completed, and now I require an engineer to stamp them. I Need A Engineer with a British Columbia Canada Stamp. Key Project Requirements: - Stamping: Your main task will be to review the technical drawings of the pool and provide an official stamp of approval. - Compliance: The stamped drawings need to ensure that the design is compliant with all relevant building codes. This is crucial for obtaining permits and ensuring the project's legality. Ideal Freelancer: - Licensed Engineer: You must have formal qualifications and licensing as an engineer. - Experience: Prior experience with swimming pool projects or structural engineering is highly de...
We urgently require a Laravel expert to help us rectify a bug in our project. The exact task remains unidentified, but it involves problem-solving and debugging our Laravel-based system. Ideal Skills: - Strong background in Laravel - Expert troubleshooting skills - Prior experience with debugging and bug rectification. The project's current status and whether design or wireframe assistance is required has not been specified by the client. Please bid based on the information provided, any further necessary details will be discussed with the chosen freelancer.
I'm looking for a skilled audio engineer who has experience cleaning up background and white noise from voice-over recordings. - The job scope involves handling MP4 files, primarily from my Pinnacle video systems voice-over recordings. - Each recording is typically between 30 minutes to 1 hour long and needs a professional touch to strip away any unwanted noise while preserving the quality of the original voice. - The perfect candidate for this job would be proficient in noise reduction, competent with handling MP4 files, and capable of maintaining the integrity of the audio. - You should have a vast experience in audio restoration, specifically voice-overs. This task requires a delicate balance of removing the unnecessary elements without compromising the overall audio quality....
I require a LinkedIn specialist with a focus on lead generation. These are the tasks and skills I will need you to perform: - Optimize my existing LinkedIn profile. - Grow my network by initiating and developing new connections. - Create and post engaging content that draws interest from prospective leads. I'm particularly interested in someone who has a strong background in the marketing industry. You should understand the dynamics of this sector that can leverage this understanding on LinkedIn for lead acquisition. The ultimate goal? I'm looking to generate more than 100 leads per month consistently. A LinkedIn specialist with a proven track record in delivering such results, particularly in the marketing industry, is highly desired for the success of this project.
I'm in need of a skilled proofreader who is familiar with APA citation style to review and edit my 1200-word essay on the 2005 Avatar: The Last Airbender series. The task involves fixing grammatical errors, ensuring coherence, and most importantly, filling in the blank spaces with proper APA style citations. A deep understanding of the show would be an added advantage. Or Writing a 1600-1800 word argumentative essay on either student loan debt and cost of education or low minimum wage. You may pick which topic and must be written with 4-5 sources 2 of which I will provide as it must come from my schools online library and cited in APA format. Key Requirements: - Proofreading skills - Proficiency in APA citation style
This project involves writing high-quality blog posts and web pages to drive more traffic to the website. The content should be easy to understand, engaging, and attract the readers.
The objective is to design a digital product disclosure statement which effec...Clearly elucidate the features and advantages of our product in a way that is easily understandable. - Disclose Risks: Any and all risks associated with the product should be transparently presented in an upfront manner. The final product should be a digital document, for easy access and convenient dissemination. The ideal freelancer for this project should ideally have experience in technical writing, preferably specializing in legal or contractual documents. Additionally, an understanding of our target consumer and investor demographic would be beneficial for a more effective communication style. Solid background in product explanation and risk notification within a legal framework would also be an ...
I'm looking for a creative individual who's willing to collaborate with me on finding and creating unique, personalized gifts for family events such as Mother's Day and Christmas. Key Requirements: - The ideal candidate should be resourceful and proactive, able to bring fresh ideas to the table and suggest suitable gifts tailored to the recipient. - I prefer to receive regular email updates on the project's progress. Sourcing: - I'd prefer if materials for the personalized gifts were locally sourced, but I am open to suggestions. Examples of local sourcing would be finding small gifts for my kids from cities I visit. If you have expertise in gift curation, are a creative thinker, and are willing to work collaboratively, I'd love to hear from you.
I'm looking for an experienced grant writer to assist in securing a government grant. The primary ...Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven experience in successfully securing government grants, particularly for research projects - Exceptional writing skills and ability to craft compelling, persuasive proposals - Familiarity with the grant application process, particularly for government grants - Ability to understand and communicate complex research concepts in a clear and engaging manner - Strong attention to detail and organizational skills to ensure all application components are included and accurate This is a critical role for us and we're looking for someone who can take the lead and deliver results. A background in arts council and grant writing or a related...
I'm in need of a professional who can adeptly handle Amazon FBA and FBM. The chosen freelancer will be tasked with responsibilities on a profit-share basis. Key Responsibilities: - Inventory Management and Ordering: Successful management of inventory records is vital. You'll need to keep track of stock and efficiently handle ordering processes. - Product Research and Listing: The ability to conduct thorough, fruitful product research, coupled with effective listing, is crucial. - Customer Service: Ensuring each customer is exceptionally served and satisfied is highly desired. For this project, an experience dealing with stores that have a monthly sales volume of less than $10,000 is ideally suited. If you have a solid foundation in Amazon FBA and FBM operations with a proven tr...
I'm looking for a simple online job that can help me earn extra income. I have less than 10 hours to dedicate to this job a week. Ideal skills: - Proficiency in any online job, such as data entry, virtual assistance, content writing, social media management, etc. - Ability to deliver results within a limited time frame - Good communication skills This might be a good opportunity for someone looking for a side job or extra cash without a huge time commitment. Please propose your specific job and how it can help me achieve my goal.
I'm seeking an independent sales representative who can assist me in developing retail distribution channels for our electronics, home appliances, automotive and fashion products in the USA's West Coast. Our stock is warehoused in Asia ready for supply. Ideal candidates must- - Have experience in dealing with retail stores - Be located or have solid connections on the West Coast - Be knowledgeable in the Electronics/Home Appliances/Automotive/Fashion industry Your responsibilities will include mapping out potential retail stores, forging relationships and negotiating product placement deals. This is an exciting opportunity to play a role in driving the growth of diverse product categories in the USA market.
I'm orchestrating an academic research project that will delve into the obscure and complex landscape of Congo, post-colonialism, and the role of private military companies (PMCs) and mercenar...PMCs and mercenaries for Congo's statehood. - The implications of these entities on the DRC's political landscape post-colonialism. Ideally, the freelancer will: - Have a background in Political Science, International Relations with a specific focus on African politics. - Show competence in understanding and deconstructing complex geopolitical issues. - Have a command of academic research and writing norms. - Have proficiency in referencing and source verification. The end product will be a meticulously researched academic paper with critical analysis and nuanced understan...
Hi I am looking to add more writers to my team. I need people who are interested in long term work. Hiring at this time for next 4 months. $2.5 per 500 words which will be revised after one month performance. No software please. No copy hits. No AI. Need people who are in it for long term. No milestones. Check my reviews to be sure you will be paid for original work. Need people to start right away. Regards M
I need a StackBlitz expert who can help me to customize the styling and layout, integrate external APIs and enhance the functionality. The main goal is to increase the overall productivity of the project. Key Responsibilities: - Customizing the styling and layout of the StackBlitz project to align with the general public audience. - Integrating external APIs to ensure seamless and efficient data exchange. - Enhancing functionality to deliver a superior user experience. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficient in StackBlitz and its capabilities. - Strong experience in styling and layout customization. - Previous experience with integrating external APIs. - Proven track record of enhancing the functionality of web applications. - Understanding of the general public audience's needs a...
I am in urgent need of a professional who can build a website for me. This website should be integrated with Google Reviews. Here’s what I’m looking for: - Google Review Integration: The core feature of this website is its integration with Google Reviews. I need the website to display these reviews. Moreover, the website should be able to collect and showcase customer reviews. Customers should also be able to leave reviews directly on the website. - Review Management: It is crucial that the website can manage these reviews effectively. Specifically, the website should have the functionality to hold negative reviews privately and only release positive reviews to the public. This feature is key for maintaining a positive online reputation. Time is of the essence in this proje...
I have a personal WAV file recorded from a phone that I'd like to have enhanced for better clarity and noise reduction. This is an infidelity situation so there may be NSFW sounds throughout the recording. Key Requirements: - Audio Expertise: Experience in forensic audio analysis, particularly in noise reduction and clarity enhancement, is essential for this project. - WAV Format: The files are in WAV format, so proficiency in this format is crucial. Ideal Candidate: - Experienced in Audio Forensics: You should have prior experience handling similar personal audio restoration projects. - Strong Technical Skills: Proficiency with tools and techniques to enhance audio clarity and reduce noise. - Excellent Communication: Ability to understand the nature of the audio recordings and de...
I am in need of a skilled designer who can create an engaging sticker GIF. - Type of GIF: Though the use and theme of the GIF were not specified, the requirement is for a sticker style animation. - Skill Set: Experience in graphic design, particularly in creating sticker GIFs, is preferred. Ability to creatively interpret briefs with limited information will be useful. - Other Requirements: All other specifics can be negotiated as part of the project discussion process. The ideal freelancer would have a keen eye for detail, produce high quality work and adhere to the delivery schedule.
I'm looking for a capable Java Spring Boot backend developer, with a special emphasis on user authentication and authorization. Your tasks will comprise of: - Designing and integrating a robust two-factor authentication system - The two-factor authentication must employ the SMS methodology Qualifications include substantial experience with Java Spring Boot, depth of knowledge in creating and managing secure user authentication systems, and a comprehensive understanding of two-factor authentication, preferably with SMS authentication. Please provide examples of your prior work related to user authentication and two-factor authentication systems. I can't wait to collaborate with someone who's as enthusiastic about this project as I am!
I would like a painting which will depict my final memories of my dad before he passed away. I will be able to provide a photo of the location and also photos of him which you'll need to use to replicate my memory of him if at all possible. I'd like the painting to be watercolour on canvas so it can be hung or framed on a mantle/sideboard. I'd like a decent level of realism and accuracy whilst portraying bright water colours. I can provide multiple pictures of the location at my parents house and explain the scene and setting of the day. This will mean a lot to me and the picture will remain with me for the rest of my life. - Medium: Watercolor is the preferred medium for this particular project. - Artistic Style: A realistic interpretation is desired, the landscape and p...
I am look...110 small 12sqm bungalows and 22 larger 30sqm bungalows. Key Features: - Location: The land is in Greece and hase direct access to the beach. - Bungalows: The resort will consist of 110 small (12sqm) and 22 larger (30sqm) bungalows. - Facilities & Amenities: A restaurant, water sports facilities, a spa and a fitness center. Ideal Experience and Skills: - Legal expertise in Greece and fluently writing Greek legal agreements. - Knowledge of property law in Greece - Experience with SPV agreements - Hospitality industry experience, particularly in resort planning and development - Understanding of the local resort market and infrastructure requirements. Your proposal should detail your expertise in these areas and propose a strategy for securing the land and developi...
I am looking for a skilled Photoshop editor who can expertly change my friend's existing attire to a basketball jersey in a specific picture, as part of a friendly prank. The desired work requires: - Solid Photoshop skills - Strong understanding of lighting and shadows - Detail-oriented adjustments to uphold realism Skills and Experience: - Proven background in Photoshop editing - Previous work involving clothing edits is a plus - Experience in creating realistic photoshop edits You will need to replace the current clothes in the photo with a basketball jersey while maintaining the original lighting and shadows to make the changes appear natural. Your expertise in creating seamless, professional edits will be highly valued in this gig. Please ensure you can deliver this with prec...
...improvement. Develop and execute link-building strategies to increase domain authority. Stay up-to-date with SEO trends and algorithm updates to adapt strategies accordingly. Requirements: Proven experience in SEO optimization with a strong portfolio of successful projects. Proficiency in SEO tools such as Google Analytics, Google Search Console, SEMrush, or similar. Excellent communication and writing skills for content optimization. Strong organizational and time-management abilities. Tech-savvy with a good understanding of virtual collaboration tools. Self-motivated and able to work independently with minimal supervision. Prior experience in virtual assistant or administrative roles is a plus. How to Apply Click here to watch the video to learn more:
We are looking for a skilled podcast editor to help us refine and improve the quality of our audio recordings. Our mix consists of interview-style episodes and solo monologues. You should have a good understanding of popular podcasting styles and be able to adapt to our specific podcast's tone and audience. Your ability to meet deadlines and communicate effectively is also ideal candidate should have a sharp ear for detail and enhance the overall listening experience for our audience. Key Responsibilities: - Edit raw audio files to ensure high sound quality - Remove unnecessary pauses, fillers, mistakes, and background noises to keep the content concise and engaging. - Add background music, sound effects, intros/outros, transitions, and other necessary elements where appropriate -...
I am seeking an experienced writer who can research and produce engaging articles aimed at driving organic traffic to my website. **Topics of Interest:** The focus of the article...at driving organic traffic to my website. **Topics of Interest:** The focus of the articles will be on topics: - Warewashing - commercial dishwashers and glasswashers - The chemicals available to use for the process **Article Length:** Each article should contain 500-1000 words. Ideally, you should have a background in writing about these topics or related fields. **Required Skills and Experience: - Excellent research skills - Proven experience in writing SEO-centric articles - Superior understanding of the catering, warewashing, and janitorial supply industries, or a willingness to ...
...over the year. - Write engaging, age-appropriate content: The story should be written for preschoolers, so it needs to be simple, engaging and age-appropriate. - Incorporate educational elements: It'd be great if the story could incorporate some educational aspects like basic life lessons, shapes, colors, etc. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficient in creative writing, particularly for children's stories. Prior experience writing in the preschooler age group would be advantageous. - Understanding of preschool cognitive and emotional development: It's important that the content is both engaging and suitable for this age group. - Experience in creating a continuous story line: It's crucial that the book flows as a single story, but also keeps young re...
I'm in need of a professional freelance writer to assist with a non-fiction manuscript on the topic of self-help targeted at adults. Key Tasks: - Develop an engaging and insightful narrative -...non-fiction manuscript on the topic of self-help targeted at adults. Key Tasks: - Develop an engaging and insightful narrative - Ensure the manuscript conveys practical self-help techniques in an accessible manner Ideal Candidate: - Proven experience in non-fiction writing - Target audiance are professional sales, sales leaders, and sales support - Excellent understanding of self-help topics - Ability to adapt writing tones and styles - Good grasp of adult-focused content If you can bring this project to life with your writing skills, I would be delighted to d...
I'm in need of a talented web developer to bring my vision to life. You'll need to be able to work with e-commerce, blog, portfolio features, and possibly more. The project entails creating a website that can incorporate a mix of e-commerce, blog, and portfolio features. Key Responsibilities: - Designing and developing a fully functional, responsive website - Incorporating features as needed (eg: e-commerce, blog, portfolio) - Ensuring the website is user-friendly and intuitive Key Skills: - Proficiency in web development, with knowledge of HTML, CSS, and JavaScript - Experience with e-commerce platforms and solutions - Strong understanding of UX/UI design - Ability to implement and customize blog and portfolio features - Excellent problem-solving and communication sk...
I'm in need of an experienced diagram artist to create a series of diagrams for my ICSE project. The specific diagrams I require include Use Case Diagram, Sequence Diagram, and Class Diagram. Key Requirements: - These diagrams should be clear, accurate, and well-structured. - Familiarity with ICSE project requirements is highly preferred. - Ability to work under tight deadlines, as I need this project completed ASAP Applicants must have proven experience with creating the aforementioned types of diagrams (Use Case, Sequence, and Class Diagrams). It would be ideal if you have prior experience working on ICSE projects but is not mandatory. Please submit your proposal with examples of your previous diagram work.
I'm looking for an experienced video editor to help me create a music video that syncs with the lyrics of a 2:53 minute song. The style I prefer is cinematic, so experience with this kind of editing would be a plus. Key requirements: - The video should be cinematic in style. This includes the use of color, lighting, and camera angles. - There can be some animation. I'm looking more for live-action footage with possible occasional use of animations to enhance the video's overall feel. I am flexible about the means as long as the final result is excellent. Final product must be uploadable to sites such as YouTube and Vimeo without any problems. The deadline for this project is within 10 days or by or before May 19. If you have the necessary skills and experience and are eith...
I'm looking for a professional UI designer to create a clean and engaging design for my new gambling web app. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven experience in UI design for web applications, preferably in the gambling or gaming industry. - Strong understanding of user experience principles. - Proficiency in tools like Adobe XD, Sketch, or Figma. - Ability to create designs that are both visually appealing and intuitive for a wide range of users.
I'm in need of a freelancer highly familiar with UK PAYE, Tax deductions, allowances and specific benefits and expenses calculations for the UK tax yeaar 24/25. This specialist should specifically know how to handle pension contributions and travel expenses for PAYE and UK Umbrella calculations. Proficient skills required of tax calculations. This project offers an excellent opportunity for those who are well versed in the discretionary nuances of UK payroll taxation processes. Detailed breakdowns of PAYE and umbrella tax calculations for different income levels and employment situations. Clear explanations of how holiday pay is calculated and any relevant factors affecting it. Insights into national insurance contributions and their impact on overall earnings. Explanation of pension...
I'm seeking a skilled developer to upgrade my Raspberry Pi setup into a Home Assistant kiosk with additional functionality. The ideal candidate should have experience with Raspberry Pi configurations, Home Assistant, and touch screen integration. This project involves reconfiguring SSH access, setting up a GUI environment, integrating a touch screen (TS7-PRO Sunfounder), and creating customizable Home Assistant dashboards. The developer should also address any missing configurations and troubleshoot issues related to the existing kiosk setup. If you're well-versed in Raspberry Pi and smart home platforms, and enjoy creating interactive interfaces, I'd love to hear from you. Please provide your experience with similar projects and a timeline for completion. Budget $30
