Zerohedge is always wrong jobs

...memories home with you with the official dice set of Origins 2024! (anywhere you think is good). Technical details: • 8.5x10in (portrait orientation) advertisement for print. • Requires an additional 1/8inch outer bleed. • Requires a 1/8th inch inner margin. • Deliverables in PDF and PNG formats, in full RGB (we will convert to CMYK). Note: This project is urgent. We hope to find a winner before the contest ends! Request: Please do not use AI to generate the image, or any parts of it. FEEDBACK ON ENTRIES: I will offer regular feedback on entries and rate them as follows: 1 star - will also get rejected. 2 star - likely to get rejected, just doesn't work. 3 star - in consideration. Not perfect, not wrong. A decent guide for other submi...

...MHz Active Digital always on antenna. It will support any RFID tags of the stated frequency range and the protocol. We have identified some possible technologies below but will rely on your expertise to pick one or combination of these or another suitable one from your experience. If you know of a pre-built solution that will be ideal. This antenna will be connected to our MCU via a comm port and be fully software defined. Our objective is to accomplish a 0.3 meters x,y,z 3D planer precision location of RFID UHF passive tags at about 25 meter cone at about 8 meters height from floor. Must be RFID UHF Frequency range (roughly 860-960 MHz, supporting US, Europe, Asia spectrums) Applicable ISO standards like EPCglobal UHF RFID Class 1 Gen2/ISO 18000-63/6C. This may be a...

I'm in need of a skilled professional to draft a co...meet. The agreement should cover all the aspects to avoid any misunderstandings later. - Resolving potential disputes: While we aim for a successful partnership, it's always wise to have a plan in place for resolving disputes. The agreement should have clauses that clearly state how disputes will be addressed. Ideal Candidate: - A legal professional with experience in business agreements is highly preferred. - Excellent communication skills are crucial to capture our expectations accurately in the agreement. - A good understanding of long-term business agreements and their nuances will be an added advantage. The agreement is anticipated to last more than 3 years and will not require any form of confiden...

...Currently, when new hires join our agency, they receive and fill out mountains of paperwork. My agency will not move away from having hand signed forms and documents.   Before someone is hired, we mail a packet containing forms to complete and turn in on their first day along with other agency information. When they arrive on their first day, (aside from the documents they’ve received in the mail), we provide more forms to complete. So they’re stressed by starting a new job, and now they have to shuffle through all these forms and papers, it’s a lot to deal with. I’ve already started the process of changing this. My idea is this: new hires will still receive the paperwork in the mail (I can’t change this), however when they arrive, the...

...Talented and Versatile Designer with Marketing Skills for Print-on-Demand T-Shirt Business** **Description:** We are launching a print-on-demand T-shirt business and are seeking a highly skilled and versatile freelancer to join our team. This individual will be responsible for designing T-shirt graphics, managing print orders, and handling various marketing tasks. **Objective:** The primary goal is to increase sales, so your designs should be not only visually appealing but also commercially viable. **Design Styles and Themes:** - **Styles**: We are particularly interested in pop culture references—a style that's both entertaining and statement-making. - **Themes**: While open to a range of pop culture references, specific themes include movies, TV shows, music, sci...

EXCEL VBA + EXCEL EXPERT. Please check video attachment and excel file and tell me if you can do this. Quality of proposal cover letter is always #1. Be #1. This will take 1 hour to code and complete if you know what you are doing.

It is necessary to write a scientific article on economics

I'm having trouble with my postfix email system, specifically, emails are not being sent or received. the email was working fine, but lately we noticed unsolicited emails sent and during the DKIM setup, the email was missed up, it send transactional emails as usual but the webmail access always shows login failed and sending/receiving is not working, test email always return mail daemon error. I am looking for an experienced postfix email specialist who can help diagnose and fix the issue. The ideal freelancer for this project should have: - Proven experience with troubleshooting and solving email deliverability issues - In-depth knowledge of postfix/dovecot email server system - Familiarity with dedicated server environments Your task will include: - Identif...

WordPress API help needed. I have an API which is giving error.

Hi, We need a creative scriptwriter with a great sense of humor and knowledge of jokes and meme trends. I need many scripts related to the animal niche. I will ask for a 100 -150 word sample on the topic given by me. It's a long term task we need 8 scripts of 2000 words per week. We will hire multiple writers for this task. Have you had experience writing for a YouTube channel before? If so, we would love to see the links to your work. Additionally, please share some sample scripts that you have written. Payment will be via escrow. Interested candidate please bid. Regards, B

We are a web hosting company offering a free web des...BUSINESS CITY BUSINESS LOCALITY (IF APPLICABLE) BUSINESS E-MAIL BUSINESS PHONE BUSINESS SOCIAL LINKS (IF APPLICABLE) SOURCE FOR INFO! (this is the source where you got the info from) I say high-quality leads because when we cold-called samples earlier half of them had websites and some was wrong number and some where closed. Therefore you should bid and in your bid include how many leads you can deliver per hour for the price bid. Also I will need a working sample before we continue. We have 3 full time cold callers on staff, so we are looking for a long term business partner in this to supply us with good leads for years to come. For reference, this is the offer we will contact the leads with:

Good afternoon, We’re building an e-commerce store for one of our sauce brands, Krowned Chef. Krowned Chef is an independent, family-owned retailer that supplies three main products: A peri-sauce, a chilli-sauce and an ayamase sauce (a nigerian stew). We have been serving direct to consumer for 2 years and are looking to improve our web presence. We’re looking to partner with a designer that can communicate what our brand stands for via a new website. Here are some bullet points that help describe our creative vision: - Our typical customer is female, aged 30+ and is Nigerian-born. - Our male customers are typically young dads or bachelors, who use our sauces as a shortcut to a hearty meal. - Some of our customers have found unique (and non-traditional) ...

Hi, We need a creative scriptwriter with a great sense of humor and knowledge of jokes and meme trends. I need many scripts related to the animal niche. I will ask for a 100 -150 word sample on the topic given by me. It's a long term task we need 8 scripts of 2000 words per week. We will hire multiple writers for this task. Have you had experience writing for a YouTube channel before? If so, we would love to see the links to your work. Additionally, please share some sample scripts that you have written. Payment will be via escrow. Interested candidate please bid. Regards, B

I'm seeking a skilled cPanel expert who can assist me in moving one cpanel account in one reseller hosting account to a new provider. I'd like to ensure a seamless transition with minimal downtime. Thee problem is the account size is very large, currently 160GB, but I'm not sure exactly as the disk space doesn;t always reset immediately. I've created backup files which are 160GB, but there may even be unnecessary backup files inside that! Plus uploading the files to the receiving cpanel have failed - possibly due to the large size. Key Tasks: - Move entire reseller hosting account to a new provider - Ensure all websites and data are effectively migrated - Verify and ensure all services are fully operational post-migration Ideal Skills: - Proficie...

We have different Brochures, but now search a new Layout in A4 Page and A5 Page. How can you help us, can you design our layout from now a little more professional and update the brochure. For future, we would like give self products in the pages - always more and bigger and need than every month a feedback and update from you. What is possible ? Language German References for Vehicle (Car/Truck) Brochures ? Send us layout samples from your works via message, after this we check and you get a feedback.

Hi, We need a creative scriptwriter with a great sense of humor and knowledge of jokes and meme trends. I need many scripts related to the animal niche. I will ask for a 100 -150 word sample on the topic given by me. It's a long term task we need 8 scripts of 2000 words per week. We will hire multiple writers for this task. Have you had experience writing for a YouTube channel before? If so, we would love to see the links to your work. Additionally, please share some sample scripts that you have written. Payment will be via escrow. Interested candidate please bid. Regards, B

For my project, I am looking for creators who can make an attention grabbing, 9–10-minute YouTube video revolving around Washington Dodges firsthand account the night the titanic sank. Key Details: - Emphasize on being a firsthand experience from Washington Dodges perspective - Needs an engaging, educational feel to the flow of the video. Any ideas are always welcome to make it better. Ideal Skills: - Background in writing or creation. - Creative video editing skills. - Experience in making YouTube videos. - Need at least 3 attention grabbing thumbnails to pick from, any skills in this area This project brings engaging storytelling and history from a firsthand eyewitness perspective, so any previous work in this area will be a bonus. I'm excited to see h...

I'm looking for an exp...your magic touch. Here's what I need you to do: * Color correction: Focus on enhancing the pictures without over-saturating or washing out the images. * Cropping and resizing: Adjust the size for optimal balance and composition. Make sure the action is always the focus and fits perfectly. * Removing background distractions: Clear out any unwanted objects, enhancing the subjects and actions in the picture. The final look and style should be dramatic with high contrast and vibrant colors. Achieving intense, vivid visuals that spur excitement is crucial for this project. Skills in Adobe Photoshop or similar, and experience in editing sports photos are desired. Understanding of sports and action capture will be a bonus. Can't wait...

Always visible MENU with : 1. Webflow "7 categories" menu + "contact" and "about" 2. Webflow LIST/ filtering sorting each of the 7 categories. On a click the listed projects can be shown as ImageA or ImagesB PROJECT PAGE With Home buttons With 4 blocks of text on the top + max.10 images and text + links to PDF WEB DESIGN (layout) Provide or adapted from the draft CONTENT Instructions to fill it by us

I'm seeking a professional with expertise in Visual Software to adjust my company's quote template. Key responsibilities would include: - Adding permanent text, specifically...Visual Software to adjust my company's quote template. Key responsibilities would include: - Adding permanent text, specifically our company's terms and conditions, to all of our quotations. Your skill in precision and attention to detail will be key as we need this text to always appear directly below the quote details. Ideal freelancer should have: - Proficient skills in Visual Software - Experience in document formatting - Strong attention to detail Your job will ensure our terms and conditions are always visible and clear, enhancing our business professionalism and cla...

Need a dev to advise on building the checkout buttons for my website, I'd prefer to use the pre-built butons for check out however I'm still looking to see how to include some custom information such as user details (for digital goods). Then on the receiving end either use IPN or similar to process that. You will need to talk me through what are the options, further work could be optional. Start your bid with "I do paypal"

I need two outdoor cooking tables based on the document specs provided. I am looking for scaled, cad drawings that can be given to the custom carpenters

Dynamic Block - Attributes o Outlet_Type  Single character text within the symbol  Text always horizontal o Outlet_ID  Multiline text associated with the symbol  Text always horizontal  Background mask with drawing background color, offset 1.05  Text always renders at 3/32” in paper space  Block rotation 0° or 180° (vertical orientation) • Center of text aligned to center of top/bottom of triangle  Block rotation 90° or 270° (horizontal orientation) • If one or two lines of text o Aligned within the top/bottom boundaries of the triangle • More than two lines of text o Line from bottom of ID text to midpoint on edge of triangle o Default alignment has the bottom line of text aligned to 5% above the bottom corner of the trian...

...3-5) which encompasses all subjects with a spotlight on rhymes. The primary objective is to make learning engaging and fun. Key tasks include: - Designing and animating an entire episode with a heavy focus on rhymes - Incorporating educational aspects within the animation, including math, science, language arts etc. Quality animation, creativity, and understanding of children's psychology and learning patterns are paramount for this project. Ideally, the freelancer should have prior experience in educational content creation for young children and a portfolio showcasing such works. Familiarity with incorporating math, science, and language arts in a child-friendly manner. Plus our primary goal has always been to engage families with entertaining and educational con...

I need a simple Android app that...times. The number of messages should be adjustable within the app. The messages should be sent between 9:00 AM and 10:00 PM (always at random times). The time range during which the messages are sent should be adjustable within the app. Why do we need such an app? These messages are intended to prompt a person in the WhatsApp group to take an alcohol test and post the video of the test in the WhatsApp group. The purpose is to monitor an individual with alcohol dependency to ensure they do not consume alcohol. The other members of the WhatsApp group will then review the posted video. These 3-5 prompts should appear at random times in the WhatsApp group each day. If it is too difficult to implement with WhatsApp, another messaging serv...

I need a simple Android app that...times. The number of messages should be adjustable within the app. The messages should be sent between 9:00 AM and 10:00 PM (always at random times). The time range during which the messages are sent should be adjustable within the app. Why do we need such an app? These messages are intended to prompt a person in the WhatsApp group to take an alcohol test and post the video of the test in the WhatsApp group. The purpose is to monitor an individual with alcohol dependency to ensure they do not consume alcohol. The other members of the WhatsApp group will then review the posted video. These 3-5 prompts should appear at random times in the WhatsApp group each day. If it is too difficult to implement with WhatsApp, another messaging serv...

I need create calculator like on page : and implement to my page : It must be only for product in category a-typ. Formula: Width formula: Base price (always for the dimension 90x200) / 90 = value x desired width = price with VAT. Length formula: Calculated width price / 200 = value x desired length = price with VAT. here is JS for this from page dreambed. <script> function calculateCustomPrice(element) { const customPriceInput = ('js-custom-input'); let productId = , location = String() + '?productId=' + productId + '&do=calculateCustomPrice'; for (let input of customPriceInput)

It is necessary solve two bugs to a Laravel application regard the frontend of condition use php 7.4. if it is necessary you must do changes to the database and the backend

We need an expert to help us set up a GitHub Codespace for our Prestashop Website. We've already created the appropriate Codespace account and repository. We also user Docker. We don't manage to run php 7.0 on the codespace server. There's probably something we're doing wrong (we're not github/codespace experts). We need you to finish the set up for us. Please apply to this job ONLY if you're very experienced with Github-Codespace-Dockers + php.

...iOS and Android. This application is envisioned to transform our approach to maintaining fleets and managing stock, and facilitating seamless communication with our workshop. The application should include the following features: - Fleet Maintenance Organisation: An effective and user-friendly system to manage our service schedules and gather data on both maintained and pending cases. - Comprehensive Service Dockets: Tools to record detailed information on every job, including automatic cell population for standard information. - Stock Management: Features to keep track of tyres and other parts available in each of our service vehicles. - Reminder system: Identifiers to highlight upcoming work and parts requiring attention, ensuring our team is always prepared. ...

...project will involve several enhancements and optimizations to make the game more engaging. The game is live and running -- Key Tasks: - Implement new graphics and animations: I'm particularly interested in having car, background, and other animations added. These should be creative and interactive to enhance the player experience. - Incorporate sound effects: Sound is an important aspect of any game and I'd like to include sound effects that enhance the overall experience. - Perform necessary bug fixes and improve the game's performance, rendering, scaling, and responsiveness: Ensuring the game runs smoothly on ANY browser (desktop or mobile) and without any issues is crucial. - Enhance the website's completeness and social media integration:...

...and Emma Mukutu - in their educational journey. Education has always been my passion and driving force. Growing up in Uganda, I witnessed firsthand the transformative power of education in breaking the cycle of poverty and empowering individuals to create better lives for themselves and their communities. It's this belief that led me to establish the Awuor Support Initiative, aiming to provide equal educational opportunities to children who are often overlooked and underserved. Donate here Alice, Ben, and Emma represent the faces of countless children in Uganda who are eager to learn but face barriers beyond their control. Alice, at 6 years old, is full of curiosity and potential, while Ben, aged 14, and Emma

...flat patterns needed for manufacturing - Setting up configurations and global variances for sizes, materials, and thicknesses Moreover, the final goal is to establish a DriveWorks automation project. I'm looking for someone to ensure it encompasses: - A customizable user interface for parameter input - The ability to automatically generate reports or documentation I need this project to be completed as soon as possible. Ideal candidates should have a strong background in Solidworks, with extensive experience in sheet metal panel design and DriveWorks automation. The ability to work swiftly and efficiently, particularly under tight deadlines is a must. I would estimate about 20 or so panel types with each having 2-4 different materials and 2-4 different thickness...

...in Latin America or Eastern Europe. ✻ NO EXPERIENCE REQUIRED ✻ You do not need any experience whatsoever, but you must be clever and eager to learn. No. I am *not* being charitable; rather, I am being practical. ✻ PAYING YOU TO LEARN ✻ No. You aren't dreaming. I value intelligence and problem-solving ability over experience. I'd prefer to work with someone who is clever and learns quickly rather than someone experienced but is not very intelligent and/or does not solve problems scientifically. Would I hire an Isaac Newton or an Albert Einstein even if he had no programming experience? Of course I would. ✻ TESTS ✻ You must pass several difficult logic tests to work with me. The first logic test you complete for me will be an unpaid logic test. In other wor...

Hallo. I have started a new website, and used a company to take care of google ads, i used so far over 1000 $ and no sale, so want someone to help with setting up all and check all are ok. Need some feedback what is wrong etc.

For our conference, we need to create a set of graphics for PPC ads and social media. We currently use 2 styles of graphics in banners - one darker, where the background is always a photo with an overlay in ECD design, and the other lighter, rather infographic. For implementation, we would like to enter: - Brighter banner for PPC ads - Dark banner for PPC ads with Claim - Banner for promoting video recordings - Introducing the team - They moderate the event - Presentation of another E-shop Tour project - A PR article was published about the conference - Eventee application for networking - We are starting registrations - There will be practical workshops at the conference - Counseling Zone - The conference will be in a week - Conference Tomorrow! - We have over 600 registra...

I am looking for a developer who can create an Android mobile optical reader application using OpenCV for image filtering. The main purpose of the application is to apply image filtering effects to the captured images. I would like to have an application made that will read the rectangular optical form with 25 questions and 5 options specified in the appendix, with a phone camera. Through the application, first the user will enter the answer key of the exam, then the correct/wrong/blank questions should be calculated by determining the options marked with the appropriate image processing algorithm. In addition, the number of times each question was marked as correct, how many times as incorrect and blank should be kept during each determination. The application must be devel...

Hi! I'm working on a Stardew Valley mod to add one NPC. Fortunately, I have already done the portraits (not the sprites yet), Dialogue code, and Schedules. But, I've quickly learned that I'm unsure of how to put it all together. I'm using SMAPI and ContentPatcher, both of which RUN the mod, but always say 'Files don't exist' or 'Invalid'. I also would like to add heart events, flower dance options, marriage, dating, spouse rooms, etc, but I don't know how! I've done so much research, but there's not much about it. Can anyone help me? Mainly just need help making the code work. Thank you! I'll link the portraits and documents in which I've written out the schedules and dialogue. https://docs

I have an existing WordPress template which needs to be updated with a variety of new content. This includes text, images, and videos. Here are the specifics: - **Text Content:** The template will need 6-10 pages of new text content integrated. - **Images:** We have our own pict...**Images:** We have our own pictures and these need to be incorporated throughout the site. No stock images or custom graphics are required. - **Videos:** There are a few videos that need to be added to the site, which are ready to be uploaded. I require an experienced WordPress developer who can efficiently handle this content integration. The ideal candidate will also be able to ensure that the content is well integrated with the existing layout and design of the template. Previous work examples are ap...

I'm seeking a proficient mobile application developer to construct a ride booking app similar to Ola, Uber, or R...developer should have substantial experience in the above-mentioned areas. Furthermore, the ability to schedule rides in advance is another functionality I'm looking for in my application. This feature should allow users to plan their trips ahead of time for convenience. Ideal skills and experience include mobile application development, GPS functionality integration, payment system integration, and user review system implementation. Your portfolio showcasing similar projects will significantly support your application. The apt candidate should also be detail-oriented as excellent user experience is a priority for this project. Your innovative sugge...

I'm looking for a skilled Flutter developer who can help me build a multi-platform application that is set to be a long-term project. My primary goal is to have a reliable app that includes a variety of features to provide a seamless user experience. the app which we building will be used 24/7/365 non stop always on Skills & Experience: - Proficiency in Flutter development across multiple platforms (Android & iOS , Windows , Web). - Strong understanding and experience with user authentication, push notifications, and local database management. - Prior work with Firebase authentication . - Experience in hardware and IoT integration . THIS IS A LONG TERM PROJECT IS NOT A ONE TIME THING AND IT MIGHT TAKE A YEAR TO FINISH PLEASE WRITE FO...

It is necessary finish a web application in python + django regard the statistic of stocks. So it is necessary: some fetaures of some filter; -. make some change to mysql database and api to datafeed. -. verify the formulas and add some features; -. make better the design. - create an admin page with security login and import stocks manually. Please answer only if you can show similar experiences

...an multishop is added the module can add the new shop. 2. All communications and transactions with payment processors must appear as if they are conducted by Shop A, regardless of whether Shop A or Shop B/C/D is placing the order. 3. Shop B/C/D cannot use an URL (landing page) of Shop A. Find a solution. 4. The Backoffice function on order page showing from what multi shop the order was placed must work. TASK 3 Code a module compatible with multi shop and newest Prestashop 8+.(Product name) 1. Code a module able to handle a secondary product name hook. 2. The secondary product name hook needs to be able to overwrite standard product name hook on invoice, packing list, shipping label and communication with payment processor. 3. Front office (customer view) is...

More details: What specific goals do you have for your Italian cafe's online presence? Looking for marketing expert What information should successful freelancers include in their application? Detailed project proposals How soon do you need your project completed? ASAP

Hi, I am looking for someone to setup a Linux VM for me. I have tried to do it myself but have failed. I want to setup a VM so that I can host my own on-premise cloud. I got filerun as software from to do it with. Unfortunately, their installation instructions are not working out for me due to a lack of Linux knowledge. Now I am at a...to setup a VM so that I can host my own on-premise cloud. I got filerun as software from to do it with. Unfortunately, their installation instructions are not working out for me due to a lack of Linux knowledge. Now I am at a point where someone do it for me and I can work from there. I would like to see you do it so that I can see where I went wrong. I would also like it if you can assist me in the future if and when there is problems.

...there is more skills to different tasks and i dont want issues like disappearing freelancers. Please make sure you are serious, keep having people start the job, do a few things and then all of a sudden just stop working for no reason. Must have good communication and have experience with complex fixes, when a task is assigned it needs to be resolved and whatever else is found quickly. Bugs mean the site is down or not working and dont have time for excuses or inexperience. This is a long term position as once you get use to the sites (about 12) the issues tend to be the same. DO NOT apply just to work temporarily because you need money today, please. I dont want to invest time for someone who will just fix a few tasks and then disappear. No place ...

...with my monthly Youtube uploads. The video is always under 10 minutes and then broken into 3 other 3-4min videos using the same 10min video content. The required editing style is that which is consistent with my previous content. Key Responsibilities: - Edit monthly Youtube videos (10 minutes in length) - Keep the editing style consistent with previous videos -Break 10min video into 3. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven experience in video editing, ideally on Youtube content - Ability to mimic and maintain a consistent editing style - Strong attention to detail - Good communication skills, ensuring you understand my vision and direction. What will be provided each month. -video file -audio file -storyboard -images to embed in video This is a re...

I am looking for a video editor who can help me create a social media video in MP4 format. The video should have a professional fade in and fade out effect and include text overlays (captions) throughout. Key responsibilities: - Create a high-quality MP4 video with a fade in/fade out effect. - Add text overlays, i.e. captions, throughout the video. - The text must be always white with dark background. - I will deliver the text and images you free to choose the audio. - Must be able to provide and example before grand the project. - See the example as attachment. Ideal skills: - Proficiency in video editing software. - Experience in creating engaging social media content. - Ability to design and implement effective text overlays. I am looking for someone who can deliver the p...

...recording for me. This recording contains a mixture of speech and fake snoring. It is critical the voice amidst the snoring is represented clearly, and also identify the female voice in the recording. Key requirements include: - Expertise in audio engineering or related fields - Proven experience in voice and noise analysis - Detail-oriented and can accurately identify and note the female voice in the recording - Ability to deliver completely clear sound quality, removing the noise of the fake snoring without affecting the voice quality - The final output should allow me to clearly understand what is being said throughout the recording An ideal candidate should have a background in forensic audio analysis. Your task is to remove the snoring sounds and b...

I am seeking an expert well-versed in LLM and LangChain technologies. I an using a script in my prompt in the Playground which is working fine, but when I call it via APIs, it is giving wrong errors. I want someone with expertise in this to help us fix it. Currently using, Claude 3 Haiku (because of speed) - open to other models