How to write jokes for stand up jobs
Hi, I need a script that scrolls down page and clicks mail buttons then clicks next page then does the same. I think python maybe?
I'm searching for an expert in cryptocurrency mining to help establish a mining pool for Quark. Key tasks for this role include: - Configuring the mining software specifically for Quark; - Providing guidance for a mining pool of less than 10 miners; Ideal candidates will have: - Proven experience in setting up diverse cryptocurrency mining operations, especially Quark; - Thorough knowledge of mining setup and operations for pools with less than 10 individuals. Please provide your proposed approach and relevant past experiences during bidding.
...What I need is a automated tool to test and provide a report that shows my application does not have security issues and is not accessible from the web. There is no end-point to my application as it is not web facing and is a stand alone application. This is to satisfy Amazon security review. I'm looking for a skilled professional to conduct a penetration test on my Windows desktop application. Key Requirements: - Conduct a automated penetration test specifically tailored for a Windows desktop application. - Ensure the test covers all potential vulnerabilities and security risks. - Provide detailed reports on the findings, including any exploits, weaknesses, and areas of improvement. Ideal Experience: - Proven track record...
...citizen, to assist me with setting up and managing my account for the purpose of promoting a product or service. Tasks include: - Content creation: You should be able to create engaging content that resonates with a diverse audience. - Account verification: Ensuring the account is authenticated and secure. - Hashtag research: Identifying and utilizing relevant hashtags for optimal reach. Ideal skills and experience: - Proficient in social media management, particularly TikTok. - Experience in product promotion on social media. - Fluent in Spanish with a good understanding of the Spanish audience on TikTok. - Tech-savvy and able to quickly navigate the platform. Your target will be a varied audience, comprising of individuals of all genders. ...
I'm looking to bring a unique action game to PC, focusing on an engaging pixel art style that can stand out in today's market. My concept combines intense gameplay mechanics with a visually appealing retro aesthetic, aiming to capture both nostalgia and innovation. For this project, I need a skilled team to turn this vision into reality. **Key Requirements:** - **Game Development:** Proficient in developing action games for PC, with a portfolio showcasing similar projects. - **Pixel Art:** Exceptional skills in pixel art creation, able to craft detailed and unique characters, environments, and effects. - **Programming:** Strong background in coding, familiar with engines and languages suitable for PC game development...
You must to be at least 16 years old and live in Latin America or Eastern Europe. ✻ NO EXPERIENCE REQUIRED ✻ You do not need any experience whatsoever, but you must be clever and eager to learn. No. I am *not* being charitable. I am being practical. ✻ PAYING YOU TO LEARN ✻ No. You aren't dreaming. I value intelligence and problem-solving ability over experience. I'd prefer to work with someone who is clever and learns quickly rather than someone experienced but is not very intelligent and/or does not solve problems scientifically. Would I hire an Isaac Newton or an Albert Einstein even if he had no programming experience? Of course I would. ✻ TESTS ✻ You must pass several difficult logic tests to work with me. The first logic test you co...
...helping businesses stand out on YouTube. We're currently on the lookout for a YouTube SEO specialist to boost the visibility and ranking of our high-quality content on the platform. Key Responsibilities: - Implement advanced SEO techniques to improve the ranking of our videos in search results. - Conduct comprehensive keyword research and optimize video content accordingly. - Enhance the appeal and engagement of our videos through creative thumbnail and title optimization. - Dive into analytics and user engagement data to constantly refine and improve our strategies. Ideal Candidate: - Proven experience in YouTube SEO, with a track record of improving video ranking and visibility. - In-depth knowledge of keyword research tools and SEO optimizati...
I worked incredibly hard for over a year to bring you a top-notch learning program with Freelancer.com that was never revealed before… It's not just about teaching you everything I know and sharing my journey to the #1 amongst 70 million people; it's also about connecting you with a great community.. Once you complete the program and pass the test, you'll earn an exclusive badge that very few people get.. But.. Also, you get all of the following INCLUDED with NO HIDDEN COST in a YEARLY price of 129 USD: ➡️ Be among the elite few to earn the new IFC badge on your profile so that you can stand out! (Upon successful completion of the test) - Priceless! ➡️ Unlock hours of groundbreaking video content I’ve been working on fo...
I'm looking for someone who can help me transform my resume to stand out in the competitive finance industry. Key Tasks: - Improve the overall design and formatting of my resume - Rewrite the content and bullet points for better clarity and impact Preferred Style: - Modern and sleek - Creative and artistic - Clean and professional Ideal Candidates should: - Have prior experience in enhancing finance resumes - Be proficient in creative and modern resume design - Possess excellent writing skills for effective content rewriting
I'm looking for an experienced and talented logo designer to create a classic and traditional-style logo for my brand. The primary purpose of this logo is to enhance brand recognition, so it needs to be memorable and timeless. Key requirements: - Classic and traditional design: The logo should exude a sense of history and timelessness, appealing to a wide audience. - Online usage: The logo will be primarily used in online platforms such as websites and social media, so it needs to be scalable and easily recognizable in digital formats. Ideal skills and experience: - Proven experience in designing classic and traditional logos. - Understanding of branding principles and ability to create a logo that resonates with the brand�...
...searching for a skilled Agile Scrum Master to lead a team of very experienced team members in an effort to improve overall productivity. Key Responsibilities: - Utilize Agile methodologies to enhance team performance - Facilitate daily stand-ups, sprint planning, and retrospectives - Collaborate closely with Product Owners to ensure priorities are clear - Identify and help resolve any impediments hindering team progress - Provide regular updates to me via phone calls The ideal candidate should have: - A proven track record of implementing Agile methodologies - Excellent communication skills, particularly over the phone - Ability to lead a team of very familiar Agile practitioners - Strong conflict resolution skills - Familiarit...
I'm looking to sell a residential solar photovoltaic (PV) system that stands out for its energy storage capabilities and off-grid independence. The estimated space for installation is a medium-sized residence (1,000 - 2,000 sq ft). Ideal skills include: - Expertise in solar panel design and installation - Knowledge of battery energy storage systems - Understanding of off-grid solar systems - Experience with residential projects - Ability to estimate solar power needs based on space size Offer your skills to make this solar PV system stand out in the residential market.
I'm in need of a skilled 3D designer to create a virtual entertainment room that will feature a unique blend of elements. The main features of this project will include: - A 3D open room intended for entertainment purposes - 1-5 TVs and stand posters strategically placed within the room - The TVs will specifically display TV shows - The design will also incorporate corner tables and lamp The ideal candidate for this project will have a strong background in 3D design, particularly with interior spaces. You should also have a good understanding of how to create lifelike and engaging visuals. Experience in designing for entertainment spaces is a definite plus. Please include previous relevant work in your proposal.
I'm looking for a modern calligraphy logo design for my brand. The logo should: - Be designed in a modern calligraphy style, giving a fresh and contemporary feel - Utilize black and white colors only, for a sleek and sophisticated look - Incorporate two specific words, which will be shared upon hiring Ideal skills for this job include: - Proficiency in modern calligraphy and logo design - A strong portfolio showcasing similar projects - The ability to interpret and implement the modern aesthetic - Attention to detail and creativity to make the design stand out If you believe you can bring my vision to life, I would love to hear from you.
...logo's primary function is to create a strong sense of brand recognition among our online audience, so it must be designed with online use in mind. Key Requirements: - Classic and Traditional Style: The logo needs to embody a classic and traditional aesthetic. I'm looking for a design that can stand the test of time and represents the values of my brand. - Online Use: The logo will be predominantly used online, on websites and social media. It's important that the design is adaptable to various online platforms and ensures solid digital visibility. Ideal Skills & Experience: - Strong design portfolio showcasing classic and traditional style - Proven track record in designing logos for online use - Understanding of brand reco...
...out to creative designers who can help me win my wife over with our house plan. I need someone to put together a winning exterior design, including front porch decor, shutters, wooden corbels, stone accents and anything else you think will add to the appeal of our home. Key requirements: - Expertise in exterior design, with experience in elements like shutters, wooden corbels, stone accents etc. - Proficiency in Photoshop or a similar software to create a visual representation of the design. - Ability to understand and incorporate my wife's preferences in the design. - A creative and engaging approach to design, to make our house plan truly stand out. This is a unique project, and I'm looking for someone who can ...
...looking for a skilled WordPress developer to take my website to the next level. The website is already built and fully functional, but now I need to enhance its features and usability. Key requirements: - Review the current website to understand its structure and functionality - Implement additional features and modifications as needed - Ensure that the website is user-friendly and responsive across devices - Potentially integrate e-commerce functionality if not already present Ideal candidate: - Proven experience in WordPress website development - Familiarity with e-commerce plugins and modules - Strong understanding of website design and usability - Excellent communication skills and ability to take initiative If you can help me bring my ...
I am looking for someone with experience of setting up Google Drive for organisations. We are a small non-profit with remotely working staff, so want to improve our secure file storage, organization, and collaboration. We've been using Google Drive but not all team members can access folders at present. Primary Job Requirements: • Understanding of Google Drive and cloud-based storage systems. • Capability to construct a system that collaborates and shares text documents and spreadsheets efficiently. Key Job Skills: • Google Drive expertise • Cloud-based storage systems knowledge • File management and sharing skills Please only apply if you have experience of setting up Google Drive for an organisation.
...specializing in 1-minute videos for Instagram and YouTube. I'm in search of a video editor who can help bring an energetic feel to my content, helping it stand out to my audience. Key Requirements: - Experience with short-form video editing - Proficiency in Adobe Premiere Pro, or similar editing software - Ability to infuse an energetic theme into the content You should be able to: - Work within the constraints of a 1-minute video - Suggest and implement creative ideas to enhance the video's energy - Maintain a consistent style across videos - Be responsive and open to revisions, ensuring the final product meets both our standards If you have experience in educational content or a portfolio that showcases your ability ...
I need a roll up banner designed to represent my business. Looking for a simple design and have accompanied an example of a leaflet for the style along with my logo and brand guide Specification is a template attached
I'm looking for a talented designer to create an eye-catching feature wall for our children's birthday party venue that's perfect for Instagram posts. Key Requirements: - Bright and Vibrant Design: The wall should be designed in bright and vibrant colors to attract both kids and parents. - LED Lighting: The addition of LED lighting will make it stand out and create a fun and lively atmosphere. - Wallpaper: Incorporating wallpaper will add texture and depth to the wall. - LED Balloons: I'd like to include LED balloons to add an extra element of fun and excitement. - 'Happy Birthday' Text: The wall should also incorporate this text in a creative way. Theme: - The wall design should reflect a natur...
I'm in need of a talented designer for casual shirts, who can create unique and appealing designs that cater to all sizes. Your main task will be to: - Craft stylish and trendy casual shirt designs that are suitable for a wide range of body sizes, from small to large. - Create designs that are not only aesthetically pleasing but also comfortable and practical for everyday wear. The ideal candidate would possess: - Proven experience in designing men's casual shirts - Has an understanding of the market Demad and traget audience. - A good understanding of different body sizes and how to create designs that flatter all of them - The ability to create unique, eye-catching designs that stand out in the market I...
I'm in need of a striking logo for my clothing design company, which specializes in customizable merchandise. The logo will be used on various items, including clothes, sportswear, and accessories, for promotional purposes. Company Name - Maverick Merchandise Key Points: - **Color Palette:** The main color I envision for the logo design is a Rainbow or green (#04a962). there can be a rainbow symbol or icon but the main colour being green. The design should leverage this color harmoniously to create a visually appealing and memorable brand identity. - **Design Elements:** I'm looking for a logo that combines both an icon or symbol and text. The icon should be relevant to the custom merchandise aspect of the brand, while the text should ...
My main objective is to drive product sales through a focused Google ad campaign. I need a freelancer that can: - Understand the beauty industry and the dynamics of promoting online courses. - Harness this understanding to create a strategic Google ad campaign, aimed at intermediate learners. The campaign should stand out visually but also contain content that speaks directly to intermediate learners looking to improve their beauty expertise. Experience in the beauty industry is desirable, but more importantly, I'm looking for someone who can demonstrate a solid track record in managing successful Google ad campaigns tailored to specific audiences. Familiarity with online education platforms is a plus.
...need of a professional resume tailored for the technology industry. This resume should be ATS (Applicant Tracking System) friendly and highlight my expertise in DevOps and Site Reliability Engineering. The final resume should be provided in PDF format. Ideal freelancers for this project would have: - Experience in resume writing, specifically for technology jobs - Understand ATS compliance to ensure the resume doesn't get overlooked - Ability to highlight specific skills for DevOps / Site Reliability Engineering - Exceptional writing, formatting, and design skills to make the resume stand out Craft the content carefully, with a full grasp of the technology industry standards and jargon. Your attention to detail will b...
Vanakkam Editing Enthusiastic, I hope this message finds you well. I'm...message finds you well. I'm reaching out because I'm in search of a talented YouTube editor based in Bangalore for a Tamil cooking channel who knows Tamil language both read and write. Here's a brief overview of what I'm looking for: Experience in editing cooking videos, particularly Tamil cuisine. Proficiency in latest video editing software and AI tools. Ability to add subtitles in both Tamil and English. Creativity in enhancing video quality and engagement. If this opportunity interests you, I'd love to discuss further details, including compensation and workflow. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or if you'd like to...
I worked incredibly hard for over a year to bring you a top-notch learning program with Freelancer.com that was never revealed before… It's not just about teaching you everything I know and sharing my journey to the #1 amongst 70 million people; it's also about connecting you with a great community.. Once you complete the program and pass the test, you'll earn an exclusive badge that very few people get.. But.. Also, you get all of the following INCLUDED with NO HIDDEN COST in a YEARLY price of 129 USD: ➡️ Be among the elite few to earn the new IFC badge on your profile so that you can stand out! (Upon successful completion of the test) - Priceless! ➡️ Unlock hours of groundbreaking video content I’ve been working on fo...
I'm looking for a talented designer who can give my freelancer profile a fresh, creative spin. I want to stand out from the crowd and impress potential clients with a unique and unconventional bio and description. Ideal Skills: - Experience in UX/UI design - Proficiency in copywriting - Creativity and out-of-the-box thinking Key Points: - Your redesign should prioritize improving the user experience on my profile. - The focus will be on revamping the profile bio and description specifically. - The style I'm looking for is creative and unconventional. I want to captivate visitors with something unexpected yet professional. Please showcase your previous work and explain how you'd approach this redesign to help me decide on th...
I'm seeking an energetic and engaging actor who can boldly approach people on the street and ask them trivia questions centered around pop culture. - The right candidate would ideally have a background in an interactive and spontaneous form of entertainment such as improv or stand-up comedy. - This job requires a friendly and approachable demeanor to establish quick rapport and get people to participate on camera. - The goal of this project is to create humorous responses from the public - so, a great sense of humor and quick wit would be beneficial. - Additionally, some knowledge of pop culture would be advantageous in facilitating engaging and entertaining exchanges.
I'm in need of a highly skilled and experienced designer to create a techpack for an athletic wear and kids' dancewear line. Requirements and Expectations: - Expertise in fashion and clothing design, specifically athletic wear and kids' dancewear - Ability to understand and translate my vision into a tangible and comprehensive techpack - Previous work portfolio in relevant industry What to Include in Your Application: - Past work represented in techpacks or design samples, specifically within athletic wear and kids' dancewear if possible Bring your creativity and design such athletic and kids' dancewear pieces that stand out. Let's get started!
I'm looking for a skilled developer who can create a high-quality Android or iOS app that will compete effectively against our rivals like OLX, KIJIJI, and others. Your primary focus will be on the user experience and advanced functionalities that can make our app stand out in the market. Key Features: - User Registration and Login: Secure and efficient onboarding process. - Advanced Search Functionality: A powerful and intuitive search that helps users find what they're looking for quickly. - Messaging and Communication Features: Seamless communication between users, ensuring a positive and engaging experience. Design: - A modern and minimalist design that appeals to our target audience. - A professional and corporate look that also reflects our bra...
I’m looking for an innovative graphic designer to create a captivating postcard for my real estate investment company. The design should be aimed at generating leads for buying houses and establishing credibility. Key details to include: - Call to action: Call or Text for free no-obligation cash offer - Contact Information - Benefits of Selling to an Investor. The design should also be centered around promoting our unique selling proposition - 'We Buy Houses - Sell As-Is For Cash.' The aim is to make this stand out and appeal to potential customers. To enhance trust and credibility, testimonials from previous clients should also be creatively incorporated into the design. Ideal ...
I am seeking a vibrant, innovative brand strategist for a budding brand. The ideal candidate will understand how to speak to professionals in the 25-40 range successfully, recognizing their needs, tastes, and aspirations. Tasks: - Development of a brand strategy from scratch encompassing all key factors: the vision, mission, personality and the positioning statement. - In-depth competitive analysis to understand stand-out strategies in the current market. - Collaborative creation of a novel, targeted marketing plan. The suitable candidate should have: - Able track record of successful brand creation from zero. - Proficient understanding of marketing towards a professional demographic. - Sound knowledge of competitive analysis techniques.
We require 2 pull up banner designs for our business/product. I would like to see examples of your pull up banner design work. Preferably for a product. Thank you
I want help setting up GoPhish. I'm looking for a freelancer who can help me set up GoPhish. The project will require: - Complete configuring GoPhish to ensure it's optimized for use (installation on WIN environment in place). If Linux preferred, Linux machine can be provded - Set up of 3 email templates and 2 website templates - Launch test campaign effectively Thank you.
I'm looking for a talented designer to create a modern and minimalist logo that will help enhance my brand recognition. The design should be clean, unique, and easily recognizable. I'm a personal trainer and strength and conditioning coach with a kinesiology degree, I have been a trainer for 6 years and I am planning to open up a gym, my gym name is Athletix Lab. My current logo can be seen on me website Key Requirements: - I need a logo that is simple yet catching, unique, and related to may feild that can be viewed as proffessional and engaging. - I want to make my logo also fit within a rectangle for banners, square for like an app logo, and circle. - Appropriate for social media, business cards, shirt pin...
Hello, this is a simple task. One of my friend got french nationality after 7 years live in France. All he want write a simple and nice text for post all of his social media profile to tell his story.. little bit motivations will appreciate on the text. 500 words maximum. If possible give a photo with textes. But no obligation.. ask all the questions need to ask in private. Small budget. Thanks.
I need a unique logo for my gold bullion company in Arabic. The main color should be gold as the name suggests. The style I'm looking for is calligraphic, something that's both modern and elegant, really capturing the essence of high-quality gold. Key considerations: - The logo text is provided in the text file in Arabic. - The design should be versatile, suitable for online platforms, print materials like business cards and brochures, and for merchandise including apparel and mugs. - The choice of font and calligraphic style will be crucial to make the logo stand out and convey the luxury and sophistication associated with gold. - The design should be simple enough to be recognizable at a glance, yet distinctive enough to...
...looking for a creative designer to create a logo for my organization, Sierra Leone Community Social Organization Inc. The logo needs to feature the full name in a cycle or circular design. Key requirements and information: - Color preferences: Blue, Green, and white, . These colors should be used creatively to make the logo visually appealing and representative of the organization. - Concept and message: The logo should convey the themes of Unity, Community, and Growth. It needs to be a visual representation of these ideas, while also being a professional and memorable design. - Usage: The logo will primarily be used on print materials, so it needs to be versatile and suitable for this purpose. Ideal skills and experience for...
I am on the lookout for a skillful graphic designer who can create a powerful logo for my brand called JMR. I want the letters incorporated with the crown I have included a sample for you to refer too. In the sample it has the word All things. Replace that word with JMR This logo should ideally convey the core values of professionalism and trustworthiness we stand for. I have not decided on specific colors yet and I am open to creative suggestions from the designer to come up with the perfect color scheme that enhances the brand identity. Ideally we wanted elegant emerald green or elegant royal blue or Gold The ideal designer for this project: - Should have a portfolio demonstrating a knack for creative logo d...
I need help for the layout, to comply with the APA 7th rules and to check the wording and spelling mistakes. Ideal Skills and Experience: Knowledge of the APA rules Mastering the layout and fluent in english It's important that the article is not only well-written, but also well-structured and free of errors.
I need a graphic designer who can design a 4x6 inch (or larger) postc...individuals, as well as caregivers providing assistance. - Color Scheme: Choose warm and inviting colors to appeal to the target audience. - Information: Incorporate the name and contact details of our caregiving service, a brief description of the services we provide, and testimonials from satisfied clients. Additional Details: - The postcard should also include our license number and location of services in NJ. - It's crucial that the design exudes trustworthiness, as the elderly and disabled are our core target audience. - Experience in creating designs for similar target groups would be highly beneficial. - Please let me know your ideas for making the postcard stand out and...
...Unity developer who can readymade Rummy game for Android and iOS. Also there should be feature in admin panel from I can host tournaments. - Development for both Android & iOS: - The game should be developed for both these platforms, ensuring that it's optimized and functions seamlessly on both. - Target Audience: - The main demographic is young adults aged between 20-35. The game should cater to this group in terms of design, features, and overall user experience. - Game Type: - The Rummy game I'm looking to develop is based on Indian Rummy. Players should be able to enjoy the complexities and strategies that come with this variant. Ideal skills for this project include: - Proficiency in Unity - Strong knowledg...
Hi Francisco, the test copy came back from Amazon. The cover looks quite pale. I would like a darker, warmer blue-ish, like the color of the mock book I sent to you earlier. I hope it's not entirely at the mercy of Amazon's printer what color I get.
I am in need of a logo for my firm, DWH North West LTD. We specialize in doors and windows and I am looking to incorporate specific elements into the logo design. - Preferred Color: The dominant color should be blue. - Logo Style: A minimalist approach is desired. This style should reflect in the simplicity and clarity of our branding efforts. Ideally, you'd have experience in graphic designing, particularly with creating logos. It would be great if you have a portfolio of professional and minimalist designs that we can review. Understanding of color psychology would also be a key asset for this job. We're looking for a design that can really help our firm stand out and echo our commitment to quality and service.
I'm in search of a talented designer to create a logo for my travel agency business, FLYBHII. Key Points: - Concept: I envision a design that creatively amalgamates a bee and an airplane. This blend should feel seamless and engaging, apt for a travel agency. - Color Scheme: The suggested color scheme is Yellow and Black. You may choose to explore various shades within these parameters to capture the essence of travel and the bee-airplane concept. Ideal Candidate: - Proficient in logo design with a strong portfolio showcasing creative and engaging designs. - Skilled in using color psychology to create a logo that attracts potential customers in the travel industry. - Knowledgeable about different design styles, particularly how they c...
I am looking for a talented logo designer to create an eye-catching, creative logo for the purpose of attracting new customers to my online clothing brand. The new logo should be: - Innovative, to emphasize the creative aspect of my clothing brand business - Designed for brand visibility and recognition - Strong enough to stand alone Skills and Experience: - Extensive experience in logo graphic design - Proven record of designing creative logos - Excellent understanding of color theory Note: The designer will have creative freedom in terms of color choice and shapes as long as it fulfills the purpose of the logo. Your portfolio demonstrating previous similar works will be highly appreciated.
I'm looking to set up my Shopify store for my emerging clothing brand. I've chosen the Minimal theme, but I'm open to suggestions and advice on what custom functionalities might be required. Here's what I need from you: - Shopify Expertise: You should be very familiar with the Shopify platform and have experience in setting up clothing stores. - Design Sense: You should be able to enhance the Minimal theme to match the aesthetic of a trendy, modern clothing brand. - Custom Functionality: After a discussion about what I intend to achieve with my store, I'd like your advice on any custom features or modifications that might be necessary. Please include any relevant experience in your proposal, and suggestions ...
...professional to help enhance the quality of my personal vlogs through editing. Key Requirements: - Basic video editing expertise: I need someone with a solid foundation in video editing techniques to help enhance the overall quality of my content. - Understanding of personal vlog content: Experience in editing personal vlogs is a plus. You should be able to maintain the authentic and personal feel of the videos while enhancing their visual appeal. - Creativity: I need an editor who can think outside the box and bring fresh ideas to the table. I want my videos to stand out and engage my audience. Ideal skills: - Proficient in basic video editing software - Experience in editing personal vlogs - Strong creativity and ability to think diff...
