Edit Something - I need a writer with SKILL and ATTITUDE

I have a job for someone. This someone needs to have some serious flare with their ability when it comes to writing. Not only that they've gotta have the attitude and be able to spark a smirk or even laughter from their readers. KICKS is a young company providing a world class protective coating for people who are serious about their steez ( if you don't know the meaning of STEEZ this is not the job for you). So first we want you to read the text we have for label so far. Then If you seriously feel you have what it takes to get this job done then apply. Here's what we have so far... ABOUT: Lets get one thing straight. KICKS is a specially formulated super hydrophobic solution that uses Nano particles to repel any liquid that could damage your kicks. KICKS is completely clear, transparent, odourless and does not affect the texture or feel of the material it’s applied too. DIRECTIONS: For Fabric/Suede: Remove all dirt and dust from the material. Spray KICKS on the fabric from about 10cm away until the KICKS has beaded on the fabric and the fabric is slightly damp. Don’t worry; you don’t need much for it to work. Then let it dry overnight or you can speed up the process with a hairdryer. For extra protection, you can reapply KICKS again, and it will soak in to the areas that have not already been protected. For Leather and Non-Absorbent Materials: You’ll need to lightly spray the KICKS solution on the leather/vinyl so it has beaded over the material, be careful it doesn’t drip or run off. The beaded droplets need to be left until their dry. Then repeat until the material is completely protected. For more information and videos demonstrating how to apply KICKS visit [login to view URL] SAFTEY: First Aid: Do not ingest contents of container. If swallowed DO NOT induces vomiting, immediately rinse mouth. Get medical attention immediately. If contact with eye occurs promptly wash eyes with plenty of water while lifting the eye lids. If contact with skin occurs, wash the skin with soap and water. Please, just don’t do anything stupid with it. PRODUCT GUARENTEE: Here at KICKS we strive to provide the best product and the best customer service. If you are dissatisfied in anyway with the performance of this product please contact our friendly staff at . COMPANY INFOMATION: Kicks Pty Ltd ACN 0000000000 [login to view URL] (For any sales enquiries contact etc...) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ If you got what i takes show us.. Edit the first paragraph and send to us through chat. Only the best will be considered. Peace